Unsaid

I named my website ‘My thoughts’ because I wanted to be heard without the fear of judgment, to write about things I would talk about almost every day to people who either like to listen or those who try to avoid them. 

I wrote to remind myself that I have a voice, too, and that I can always hold some power within myself and improve over time; ultimately, life isn’t just about school marks.

For many years of my childhood, I wanted to see my name in a book someone would read with interest. I used to draw a little portrait of myself next to the one in my school book, pretend it was mine, and read it with my information. 

You see in the movies, there is a part where the person in charge says something to the character, and it takes over a very big part of the other character’s mind and changes their perspective. For me, it was when my Mom said to me, “One day you’ll make it, one-day people will be fighting for a chair in the room you’re giving a speech, and that day I will yell out, that’s my daughter.”

In teenage moments, I try to forget it, but it’s too late since it’s the scenario I grew up believing would happen. Sometimes I wish for her to forget that one memory, because what if I can’t make it? I believe in God and inner strength.

I’m still getting ready for that important speech of mine in the future that would change lives for the better, every week in front of the mirror with a pencil representing my speaker. It’s a big deal for me to say all these, it’s the courage to continue and the fear of disappointment, but as my dad says, “Do your best, even if it doesn’t work, you know you did what you could.” Just as I said, God and inner strength. 

I can quote all my parents’ advice, they are all based on years of experience. It’s what makes them capeless heroes, and me their biggest fan. Some changed my life, and I think I know a quote about everything we talked about in particular, “If you go in front of the mirror to find more insecurities and problems about things you can’t change, then you’re too bored, do something important. Read a book.” This made me worry less about how I look at what I can do, and I think it’s even more useful for teenage girls, because it was for me, very much. 

Some things aren’t meant to be shared, and for me, I don’t know the border for them both but something I’m realizing as I grew older is that the world isn’t as cruel as I thought it would be, at least mine.

“If God closes a door, he opens another door” I also believe that people all go through pain and hardship but it comes in different forms for everyone because we’re all different. It all depends on where you live but I’m sure everyone has someplace or someone to depend on, I’m lucky enough to have more than one, and also here, my website is where I can rely on, even if I don’t post much I know I have a voice, that someone would hear me with their choice.